A beautiful peom which should be our mantra for life:
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.
Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann c.1920
Sunday 24 February 2008
Transitions
'All the world's a stage.....' Shakespeare
As individuals we go through different phases in life, some have seamless transitions, others noticable but not quite seamless transitions and there are transitions that just rock one's world.
We all have different capabilities for embracing changes in our lives. some adapt the ostritch approach, others take it head on and some just go with the flow..
I am on the brink of another major transition in my life and thinking about the challenges it will bring kind of puts me in a limbo of some sort. I am trying very hard to prepare for this next phase but i have come to realise that even the best laid plans are not foolproof..
so the best i can do for my self is to seize the day embrace the changes, while making myself amenable to those changes
As individuals we go through different phases in life, some have seamless transitions, others noticable but not quite seamless transitions and there are transitions that just rock one's world.
We all have different capabilities for embracing changes in our lives. some adapt the ostritch approach, others take it head on and some just go with the flow..
I am on the brink of another major transition in my life and thinking about the challenges it will bring kind of puts me in a limbo of some sort. I am trying very hard to prepare for this next phase but i have come to realise that even the best laid plans are not foolproof..
so the best i can do for my self is to seize the day embrace the changes, while making myself amenable to those changes
Saturday 16 February 2008
Ten Things
- I am grateful for the gift of life
- I am grateful for the gift of health
- I am grateful for the gift of music
- I am grateful for the gift of family
- I am grateful for the gift of friends
- I am grateful for the gift of arseholes: they make me appreciate my true friends more
- I am grateful for my successes
- I am grateful for my failures: they have made my successes more worthwhile
- I am grateful for tiny squabbles they make reconciliation sweeter
- But most of all i am grateful for the love that is so rich in my life: It makes life worth living
Saturday 9 February 2008
5,4,3,2,1. the countdown...
Once again its here... Just when i am getting over the effects christmas had on my wallet, another lucrative season is here.. Its the all famous Valentine day, people see it in different ways. Some see it as an overrated excuse to spend money, others see it a an oportunity to celebrate a loved one. Personally, i swing both ways. The deciding factor for me usually is the state of my love life at that point in time.. I have done some valentine shopping this year and this should give a hint as to which way i'm swinging this year...
Personally, what never ceases to amaze me is the fact that you always seem to find more women shopping for gifts than men. Is it that the men are closet shoppers or there is something in us women that makes us fall victim to the advertising gimmick or women are just wired in a way that they just want to celebrate the one they love?
I was talking to a particular friend of mine and i told him i had bought a certain number of cards. He practically screamed and asked me if one was not enough. For me i did not think so because each the cards said something totally different. I then asked him if he had done his shopping and he promptly said no. I was gobsmacked, because i know this is a man that loves his wife to bits.
This actually got me thinking about how women look forward to being surprised on this day; and it also made me wonder if that is actually the motivation for all the shopping women do. Do women give just because they expect to be given in return? Who knows, one can never understand womenfolk.
I sincerely hope that by the my friend gets to read this he would have done his valentine shopping.. and not leave it till the very last moment.
Personally, what never ceases to amaze me is the fact that you always seem to find more women shopping for gifts than men. Is it that the men are closet shoppers or there is something in us women that makes us fall victim to the advertising gimmick or women are just wired in a way that they just want to celebrate the one they love?
I was talking to a particular friend of mine and i told him i had bought a certain number of cards. He practically screamed and asked me if one was not enough. For me i did not think so because each the cards said something totally different. I then asked him if he had done his shopping and he promptly said no. I was gobsmacked, because i know this is a man that loves his wife to bits.
This actually got me thinking about how women look forward to being surprised on this day; and it also made me wonder if that is actually the motivation for all the shopping women do. Do women give just because they expect to be given in return? Who knows, one can never understand womenfolk.
I sincerely hope that by the my friend gets to read this he would have done his valentine shopping.. and not leave it till the very last moment.
Thursday 7 February 2008
Could it be i'm falling in love???
When we first met, i thought he was the strangest person ever. He seem to always be in a funny mood. Either extremely irritated or just downright pissed.. Never a pleasant moment. Could not quite understand his very traditional accent and i, being a very urbane chic, even if i say so myself seemed to lack the patience to understand accent. After a couple of days complaining and not finding succour anywhere, i decided to make the best of the situation and learn more about him..
I started going for longs walks regardless of the mood he was in, i became patient and learnt to listen harder in order to understand his accent.. Began to understand his quirky sense of humour..
Before i knew it i woke up looking forward to his daily embrace.. and the walks became longer, i even found the humour in his extreme mood swings?? Then i realised a day week could not go by without me taking a picture of him or find more reason to be in his company....
Then today, it dawned on me that i just might be falling in love????
I'm not sure if its the love of a lifetime or just a passing thing but truth be told i have fallen for the city of Glasgow.. I have been seduced by the hidden charms and i thoroughly understand why Glaswegians cannot bear to live anywhere else.
Who knows what the next 6 months would bring? a more permanent arrangement or the ins and outs of everyday life would have soured my love affair with Glasgow and we would have both moved on holding on to happy memories...
One thing is certain, i will make the best of each moment i spend in everyway i can..
I started going for longs walks regardless of the mood he was in, i became patient and learnt to listen harder in order to understand his accent.. Began to understand his quirky sense of humour..
Before i knew it i woke up looking forward to his daily embrace.. and the walks became longer, i even found the humour in his extreme mood swings?? Then i realised a day week could not go by without me taking a picture of him or find more reason to be in his company....
Then today, it dawned on me that i just might be falling in love????
I'm not sure if its the love of a lifetime or just a passing thing but truth be told i have fallen for the city of Glasgow.. I have been seduced by the hidden charms and i thoroughly understand why Glaswegians cannot bear to live anywhere else.
Who knows what the next 6 months would bring? a more permanent arrangement or the ins and outs of everyday life would have soured my love affair with Glasgow and we would have both moved on holding on to happy memories...
One thing is certain, i will make the best of each moment i spend in everyway i can..
Wednesday 6 February 2008
Unfaithful
I'm in a healthy, loving relationship.. I also have very close friends of the opposite sex. Over the past couple of years i have wondered on what really were the boundaries of faithfulness or unfaithfulness to your partner..
Is it when you shag someone else apart from your partner (this is if you are in a relationship with sex involved), is it when you kiss another or is it when you spend more time with another sharing your hopes, fears, dreams, thoughts, successes and failures?
I really would like to know 2 things i.e.
what the boundaries are if there are any?
Is it impossible to stay faithful?
Is it when you shag someone else apart from your partner (this is if you are in a relationship with sex involved), is it when you kiss another or is it when you spend more time with another sharing your hopes, fears, dreams, thoughts, successes and failures?
I really would like to know 2 things i.e.
what the boundaries are if there are any?
Is it impossible to stay faithful?
Sunday 3 February 2008
Do u qualify
The poem talks to the women just as strongly as it talks to the men.... we could all borrow a leaf from it..
Here goes:
A Sista's Poem
Do you qualify to be the man I need you to be?
Will you be able to recognize the things you need to see?
Will you be able to understand, that I'm a good woman and in my life I need a good man?
Do you qualify!?
Do you qualify to fertilize my unproduced seeds?
Can you fulfill, as I
can, all of our needs?
Can you put me in my place if you see I am slippin'?
Can you talk to me, wholeheartedly, not constantly trippin??
Do you qualify?
Do you qualify to be called all mine?
Can you leave the other women and temptations behind?
Can you come to me with your problems and not wait until it's too late?
Can you stand up and admit if you made a mistake?
Do you qualify?
Do you qualify to be the honest ebony man I would want you to be?
Would you be able to look me in my eyes and admit your feelings to me?
Could you take me in your arms and make love to me all night long?
Can you be sensitive and still be strong?
Do you qualify?
Do you qualify to be my friend as well as my lover? Can you put our love before any other?
Can you cherish me as if I were Diamonds & Gold?
Can you make me feel like I'm the last woman you'll ever hold?Do you qualify?
Do you qualify to be called a GOD fearing man?
If I have doubts can you reassure me and understand?
Can your love intoxicate me as if I were High?
To be in my life, I need to know,
DO YOU QUALIFY?
************************************************
The Brother's Response:
You ask, do I qualify.
Can I fulfill your needs and become the man you need me to be?
My sister, are you prepared for what you've asked for?
Can you handle the responsibility?
Can you accept that, by GOD, I am the chosen one, the authority, the comforter, and the head?
Will you submit and willingly follow my path?
As I am GOD led? Or will you fight with me instead?
If I am your King, will you treat me as such?
Will I get the best of your beauty and poise?
Or will I be subjected to an appearance neglected, and checked with some serious noise?
When I talk, will you listen?
I mean whole heartedly and feel me?
Or will you rush me just to make your point too?
Can I be the man at all times? Even when it hurts?
Or is it just when it's convenient for you?
Can you love me for me, and not who you wish I could be?
Will you see the strong Black Man within?
Or will you always remind me of all the past brothers behind me and make me pay for their sins?
If I don't send you flowers the day your co-worker received some, will you know that I love you still?
Or will my good name be uttered along with those other doggish brothers?
Will you question if my commitment is real?
Will you be patient and teach me to understand you, and allow my knowledge of your needs to grow?
Or will you shut me out when I ask, Baby what's wrong? Or will you respond with, "Well a REAL man would know!"
When we first met, what was it that caught your eye? Was it my mind, my heart, my personality?
Or was it my suit, or my job, or do you love what I drive, instead of what's driving me?
Yes I can,and I will, make love to you from midnight to the dawning of the sun.
But, if I tell you I'm tired, will you trust I'm sincere or believe that there must be another one?
My sister, I love you and my heart can be yours.
No woman could lead me astray.
But like you, I have needs, so I beg of you, please, in this love thang meet me half way.
In life's tough times I'll hold you, in the rough times I'll mold you; your simplest wish will be my command.
My life is yours if need be.
Yes you can fully bleed me, and
when hell comes, in your place, I'll stand.
A good relationship is a powerful institution that must be built on a foundation of two.
GOD FIRST AND THEN MY LOVE FOR YOU.
So to answer your question,
YES sister, I do qualify.
Here goes:
A Sista's Poem
Do you qualify to be the man I need you to be?
Will you be able to recognize the things you need to see?
Will you be able to understand, that I'm a good woman and in my life I need a good man?
Do you qualify!?
Do you qualify to fertilize my unproduced seeds?
Can you fulfill, as I
can, all of our needs?
Can you put me in my place if you see I am slippin'?
Can you talk to me, wholeheartedly, not constantly trippin??
Do you qualify?
Do you qualify to be called all mine?
Can you leave the other women and temptations behind?
Can you come to me with your problems and not wait until it's too late?
Can you stand up and admit if you made a mistake?
Do you qualify?
Do you qualify to be the honest ebony man I would want you to be?
Would you be able to look me in my eyes and admit your feelings to me?
Could you take me in your arms and make love to me all night long?
Can you be sensitive and still be strong?
Do you qualify?
Do you qualify to be my friend as well as my lover? Can you put our love before any other?
Can you cherish me as if I were Diamonds & Gold?
Can you make me feel like I'm the last woman you'll ever hold?Do you qualify?
Do you qualify to be called a GOD fearing man?
If I have doubts can you reassure me and understand?
Can your love intoxicate me as if I were High?
To be in my life, I need to know,
DO YOU QUALIFY?
************************************************
The Brother's Response:
You ask, do I qualify.
Can I fulfill your needs and become the man you need me to be?
My sister, are you prepared for what you've asked for?
Can you handle the responsibility?
Can you accept that, by GOD, I am the chosen one, the authority, the comforter, and the head?
Will you submit and willingly follow my path?
As I am GOD led? Or will you fight with me instead?
If I am your King, will you treat me as such?
Will I get the best of your beauty and poise?
Or will I be subjected to an appearance neglected, and checked with some serious noise?
When I talk, will you listen?
I mean whole heartedly and feel me?
Or will you rush me just to make your point too?
Can I be the man at all times? Even when it hurts?
Or is it just when it's convenient for you?
Can you love me for me, and not who you wish I could be?
Will you see the strong Black Man within?
Or will you always remind me of all the past brothers behind me and make me pay for their sins?
If I don't send you flowers the day your co-worker received some, will you know that I love you still?
Or will my good name be uttered along with those other doggish brothers?
Will you question if my commitment is real?
Will you be patient and teach me to understand you, and allow my knowledge of your needs to grow?
Or will you shut me out when I ask, Baby what's wrong? Or will you respond with, "Well a REAL man would know!"
When we first met, what was it that caught your eye? Was it my mind, my heart, my personality?
Or was it my suit, or my job, or do you love what I drive, instead of what's driving me?
Yes I can,and I will, make love to you from midnight to the dawning of the sun.
But, if I tell you I'm tired, will you trust I'm sincere or believe that there must be another one?
My sister, I love you and my heart can be yours.
No woman could lead me astray.
But like you, I have needs, so I beg of you, please, in this love thang meet me half way.
In life's tough times I'll hold you, in the rough times I'll mold you; your simplest wish will be my command.
My life is yours if need be.
Yes you can fully bleed me, and
when hell comes, in your place, I'll stand.
A good relationship is a powerful institution that must be built on a foundation of two.
GOD FIRST AND THEN MY LOVE FOR YOU.
So to answer your question,
YES sister, I do qualify.
Friday 1 February 2008
A virtuous Woman
I'm at a funny place right now... Being a woman and having listened to all sorts of admonitions on being a virtuous woman and constant reminder of the passage of the good book that comes with it.. Some even call that type of woman the Proverbs 31 woman. Beecause they believe that the woman that has all those qualities is a 'virtuous woman'.
Unfortunately in this day and age a lot of us women cant hold a candle to the woman that was described in that chapter. I for one would like to possess all the qualities stated here but i strongly suspect that i would burn out if i had to be a 'virtuous woman' and still be on top of my career obligatations.. dont know about you but i am definately not super woman
After having struggled with trying to be a virtuous woman for a little bit now, another passage of the good book hit me again... and i must say it liberated me from trying to the be 'the Proverbs 31 woman' but a virtuous woman in my own right.
The passage that struck me was that of the woman with the issue of blood.. My understanding of the passage is having tried all and done all to get better and finding it futile, the woman realised that all she needed was a touch from the Master. In the face of all obstacles she pressed on and focused till she reached the helm of His garment. She knew in her heart that once she could connect she would be whole.
Discreetly, she touched his garment and alas, she was made whole... Most of us remember the story up to that point. For me a great realisation came when i realised that the Master felt the touch of the helm of his garment and he said 'virtue has left me'
This realization has brought me to a point where i am beginning to believe i dont need to focus on the standard set in Proverbs 31, but to block out all forms of distraction and forge ahead till i can also touch the helm of his garment and recieve virtue...
In a nutshell, a virtuous woman by my own understanding is not one who works by the proverbs 31 standard but by touching the Master and allowing virtue flow from Him into her life....
Unfortunately in this day and age a lot of us women cant hold a candle to the woman that was described in that chapter. I for one would like to possess all the qualities stated here but i strongly suspect that i would burn out if i had to be a 'virtuous woman' and still be on top of my career obligatations.. dont know about you but i am definately not super woman
After having struggled with trying to be a virtuous woman for a little bit now, another passage of the good book hit me again... and i must say it liberated me from trying to the be 'the Proverbs 31 woman' but a virtuous woman in my own right.
The passage that struck me was that of the woman with the issue of blood.. My understanding of the passage is having tried all and done all to get better and finding it futile, the woman realised that all she needed was a touch from the Master. In the face of all obstacles she pressed on and focused till she reached the helm of His garment. She knew in her heart that once she could connect she would be whole.
Discreetly, she touched his garment and alas, she was made whole... Most of us remember the story up to that point. For me a great realisation came when i realised that the Master felt the touch of the helm of his garment and he said 'virtue has left me'
This realization has brought me to a point where i am beginning to believe i dont need to focus on the standard set in Proverbs 31, but to block out all forms of distraction and forge ahead till i can also touch the helm of his garment and recieve virtue...
In a nutshell, a virtuous woman by my own understanding is not one who works by the proverbs 31 standard but by touching the Master and allowing virtue flow from Him into her life....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)